I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
