I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
