You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
