the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
