so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
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They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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