He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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