are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
