oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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