I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
