You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
