My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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