i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
