dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I want to fling myself into the sun
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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