he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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