And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
