I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
