By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
