barbara walters just said penis...
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
