the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
