I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just invented taco cereal.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
