proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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