we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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