Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
