yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
thus making me awesome and them whores
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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