the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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