its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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