haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
