I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
