i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
