ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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