I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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