I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I want to be your penis for a week.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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