Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
