Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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