You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
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