But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Just pee around me
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
