I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
