what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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