sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
