i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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