And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
