I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
should my penis look like a turkey
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.