so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
were you high?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."