Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?