i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't