Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize