You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
so much tequila, so little girl.
My ass is underappreciated
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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