I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
