absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize