i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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