Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure

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(248): Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure http://tfl.nu/x7gl

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.

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(202): Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up. http://tfl.nu/bgl4

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(480): View more from Arizona

get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch

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(480): get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch http://tfl.nu/ncix

Replies (17) Good night (888) Bad night (2901)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.

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(918): I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it. http://tfl.nu/on4u

Replies (49) Good night (2290) Bad night (4624) Order T-Shirt
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(916): View more from California

my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.

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(916): my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out. http://tfl.nu/f1nl

Replies (43) Good night (16738) Bad night (1206) Order T-Shirt
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(727): View more from Florida

Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.

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(727): Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water. http://tfl.nu/rvne

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out

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(859): I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out http://tfl.nu/qumr

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(516): View more from New York

good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.

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(516): good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top. http://tfl.nu/vbez

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(703): View more from Virginia

i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.

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(703): i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon. http://tfl.nu/dn2m

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(734): View more from Michigan

The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.

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(734): The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake. http://tfl.nu/3nh1

Replies (2) Good night (1017) Bad night (602)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.

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(919): I have a cut on my head from a tambourine. http://tfl.nu/wa5x

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(601): View more from Mississippi

Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.

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(601): Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though. http://tfl.nu/pqgx

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(989): View more from Michigan

She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.

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(989): She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it. http://tfl.nu/vpoa

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(906): View more from Michigan

Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.

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(906): Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night. http://tfl.nu/afvo

Replies (4) Good night (377) Bad night (151) Order T-Shirt
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me

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(860): I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me http://tfl.nu/egc4

Replies (4) Good night (353) Bad night (58)

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