Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
What did we do last night that was yellow?
someone owes me an orgasm
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
fuck your aforementioned shoe
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy