I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Is it because I queefed?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.