Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
She's allergic to latex.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.