You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
