I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
