did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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