she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
So squirting runs in the family.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize