U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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