I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
