so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
