She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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