I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
