what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
