My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
sarcasm needs its own font
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
