end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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