Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
