Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
