I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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