well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
