apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
