I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
do herpes really smell.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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