btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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